Friday, January 28, 2011

What the Nanny Does When You Turn Your Back!!!!!

 It's food coloring! Nanny Dad came home, assessed the situation, and said, "As long as the kids' hair stays one color..."

Advice to Parents, From Nanny #1

Dear Parents,
     Why are you so gross?
Your Nanny

Do not, EVER, under ANY circumstances, allow me to go into your bedroom to retrieve your

child/ dog/ sheets/ dry cleaning,

if you have left out in FULL VIEW OR HAPPENSTANCE your

"maritial devices"/ "nudey pants"/ "shocking photographs"/ "loose paraphernalia"


Just don’t let it happen. 


Every  nanny  and babysitter has a story like this, we don’t need two.

Because we totally will tell our friends.

And laugh.

Because we are the mature young adults you trust to watch your children.


I read once that in google reader, which i don't use, you can see every time someone publishes, even if they don't mean to. So when I hit post, delete, edit over and over am I spamming your reader like crazy?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

WW: The Best Part of Being a Nanny is Getting in Touch with Your Inner Child

I've always loved swinging. The dance, and the rope and seat version, that is. Especially at night. As an adult I've strolled onto my old elementary schools playground after dark to swing on the big swings, and my butt  *almost* still fits.  It's totally relaxing to the point of being transcendent. Every kids deserve a swing, to come as close as possible to flying...
So the family I live with/ nanny for totally believes their house to be haunted. I mean, it is.  Suffice it to say for now, right through those trees and fence, across the highway, is an old cemetery, up on a hill to protect it from floods. The children buried their come play on our stairs at night...

Friday, January 21, 2011

Snow Day=Scary!

So... I'm pretty sure I just officially developed my own version of... "The Scary Mom Voice."                         I'm not talking a scary, snaky, if-yelling-doesn't-intimidate-you-maybe-thinking-I'm-going-nuts-will voice. No, my mother owns that voice.  I'm not like that... I'm talking just an ever so slightly elevated, firm, sort of tone that says, "I will TURN this car AROUND right NOW! I will do it! I will!"  It comes complete with it's own empty threats, and a righteous sniff as I pretend to take their toys away.  So basically I'm lame and not terribly effective. But I expect congratulations. I understand the traditional gift for events like these is some sort of birth control. Frankly I think that's redundant. But that's just me.